The ginormous contradiction.

Love from Niz.

2011-02-24T17:07:00.000+08:00

When was the last time I blog? OMG, it's been ages! I have been away from blogspot ever since we changed office and moved to Tiong Bahru now. Hehe. Gosh, life has been good, Alhamdulillah. At the moment, am waiting for the period to come as I'm having breakouts and to add to the DRAMA, I even have a small pimple growing inside my left eyelid! Insane or what?! I just hope that it does not work as normal pimple do where it will swell then pus will come out that kind of nonsense. Hahahaha.

Oh wells, just to update to the blogosphere that I am still alive, breathing and still reading your updates~ Till then ... Toodles!

Pictures to sum up my awesome Sunday and Monday.

2010-12-07T11:11:00.000+08:00

It felt good not to rush during the morning traffic on a Monday. Bliss. :)

Such a disgrace.

2010-11-23T22:58:00.001+08:00

Glad that I don't contribute to mosque building fund or mendaki anymore?

Who the hell do you think you are man? Luckily we're not friends and you were only an intern at my workplace before. I seriously despise you to the point of deleting you from my facebook account. You're such a disgrace and we totally don't need someone like you in our community.

Patching up the pieces.

2010-10-31T21:14:00.001+08:00

Since Fiiq has to work this weekend, I planned to start on my ECA which I have to submit this coming Wednesday but what did I end up doing? Catching up on Gossip girl and Vampire Diaries. I swear I want to slap myself if I was somebody else. I don't feel the rush to finish it up also. I guess the previous score for my TMA03 really bruised my ego up to the point that I wanted to give up. I know I put that much effort to complete it and the marks was really a disappointment. Sometimes I really wish that Fiiq could help me in my assignments. Hahaha. He always told me if studies is making me stressed up, I can quit and my measly pay is still okay if we were to get married. Wahahaha. He always has this simplistic mindset which I don't have and I guess that's why we're together. Lols.

Anyhoos, this blog post is to help me see the importance of my ECA and that I really have to start doing it tonight. I will try my best and if I don't I will definitely update this space. Till then!

The thought of getting this expansion pack right after my assignment does not even tempt me to finish the ECA fast. There is something definitely wrong with me. :(

Sister love.

2010-10-24T02:35:00.001+08:00

At the end of the day it feels so good when your own sisters are the ones who understand whatever shits that you are going through. ;)

The low.

2010-10-22T11:25:00.000+08:00

There's a few things that I dislike but can tolerate to a certain extent. Things like smoking and hanging out till late. I try to understand but that does not mean that I like it. 1 thing that I extremely dislike and seldom tolerate is when the dynamics of 2 friends of the opposite sex not changing despite both being in a relationship. I am not jealous but I don't like that and will never be able to like it. At times like this I will be PMS-ing even though I am not having period. HAHAH. I am usually pretty understanding but when it comes to this you will definitely see another side of me. Haiz. That really explains why this post is here. :(

When some of my friends are married and having kids I am still dealing with such issues. Grow up Niz.

My favourite crayon.

2010-10-19T11:01:00.000+08:00

Soooo true. :)

For the first time.

2010-10-15T12:16:00.002+08:00

That time when I thought that my heart was broken? It apparently was not. If I get to choose another scene where I experience a broken heart I can clearly say it's now. Though it's temporary but it hurts real bad. It's the feeling that you don't expect him/her to do such things but he/she did and the worst part is, you never want it to end.

I'm okay I just need some place to let it out without letting out too much.

This video is perfect.

Love letters.

2010-08-22T23:13:00.000+08:00

I think this is the first Raya that I feel more 'domestic' and I don't dread making Hari Raya cookies and preparing food for break fast. HAHAHAHAHA. It scares me also that I am that. :p

By the way, The Wednesday Letters by Jason F. Wright is AWESOME. I cried reading the last chapter. Wahaha. Thank god I was at home and not at some random polyclinic.

My favourite girl is already married and it is so hard to get her wedding photos! Hahahah. Maybe it's just me! This post is such a drag because I can't focus and I keep jumping topics. Wahahahah.

I need to be alone.

2010-08-18T00:34:00.001+08:00

To those whom I dearly missed,

I am currently getting used to the fact that I am now more involved in work since I am apparently one of the 2 senior staffs there. There was a huge turnover rate in my office early this year and it kinda affect me in so many ways. Now that I have school and I still need to make lots of adjustments, I am really sorry if I am not as involved as last time. This is seriously a tough period for me and I hope you understand. I will try and make it up after I get the hang of things which I hope is soon. Until we meet then.

MTF session read Meet The Family. :p

2010-08-05T15:20:00.001+08:00

So Tuesday's meet up with Fiiq's dad was totally unplanned. Yes, u read right! Fiiq's DAD. Hahahahaha. Getting to know the family is just so scary and SERIOUS. Hehe. It was seriously unplanned. I was at POPULAR IMM with my colleague looking for some materials to do up the youths noticeboard when Fiiq smsed to inform that he's going to meet his dad at M1 IMM after work. He teasingly asked me whether I wanted to meet him as well but I told him I was scared.

I was at Home Fix looking for velcro when I saw someone familiar. I was sure that was Fiiq's dad but I looked away since I know he didn't recognise me. I was hoping that I wouldn't bump into him and Fiiq while I was there with my colleague .. HAHAH. We finished shopping at 6 and since my friend was going to wait for her church mates she sent me to the bus stop. So sweet I know. I decided to just wait for Fiiq at the bus stop before I went home. We were smsing each other and I waited for about 45 mins. The initial plan was to just see Fiiq off then I went home but the last sms that Fiiq sent didn't reach me on time. The one that said, 'U ikut I jumpe bapak I sekali. Kesian dia dah lama tunggu' .. Huhu.

Truthfully, it wasn't as scary as meeting his sister's family at M1 IMM as well. HAHAHA. IMM has been sort of a 'meeting place' for me to meet Fiiq's family huh? Wahaha. He casually mentioned that I will be meeting Abang Aliff's family first then his mum. I'm sure meeting Abang Aliff won't be as scary as meeting his mum.

I'm pretty sure Fiiq got his 'bluntness' from his dad. There were a few times that his dad passed very hilarious and nonsensical comments. Wahahaha. Can't help but to LOL man. I also get to meet the step mum and his 2 step siblings. His step mum even remembered that I was the 'webcam girl' HAHAHAHAH. His step sister is cute. She totally looks like Nora Danish without the step cuteness though.

What more can I say, it was a definitely pleasant experience for a MTF session. hehe. :)

:/

2010-08-04T17:38:00.000+08:00

Seriously I am not interested to do stuffs with them because I just don't. It's not because I think lowly of them but because I feel awkward around them. I just feel so insecure yada yada. I've been preparing myself for this because at the end of the day, they are still your friends and I have to accept them because they are important to you but since you put it that way then whatever lah. Now that I have the choice to choose I'll definitely choose NOT to participate in anything that involves them. I'm just too hurt by whatever you said just now.

This blog has become a place to channel my negative vibes huh. :p

MEANIE.

2010-07-09T12:42:00.000+08:00

I've decided not to take the funding by the company because of this:
"Your parents can afford to pay right?" - meanie
"Yes, but I might have some trouble paying my parents back" - me
"Oh then it is your problem not the company problem. That is your family problem if you cannot pay your parents back" *smile sarcastically* - meanie

Obviously a blessing in disguise. Wouldn't want to be bonded if we have such meanie in the company.

Haiz. Meanie is not the word to describe her but yeah, there is no point getting upset about the situation. :/

When it involves the heart.

2010-07-06T13:36:00.000+08:00

I'm not too sure if I should share this but having to know that somebody else is reading this and is able to relate to me will somehow make me feel better. Is it just me or are there anyone else out there that have the same mindset that one with partners are not supposed to have CLOSE friends of the OPPOSITE sex? Even if they already have partners themselves. I've been trying to rule out the reasons to why I have this mindset and I am absolutely sure that jealousy is not part of it. I've tried to rationalise things but at the end of it all, I still feel disappointed like I am never okay with the above fact.

You can be friends yes but not more than that. Personally, I don't see the need of having another guy as a close friend. I seriously don't want to be having the same issue in the future. I am just not able to thrash everything out when it comes to this. God, I am that pathetic! :(

If anyone of you share the same sentiments as me, please let me know alright. HAHA. :)

xoxo,
Nis

Back to school blues!

2010-07-06T12:34:00.001+08:00

The above were 2 out of the other major highlights of yesterday. The whoop ass or is it kick ass fries at Botak Favourites were awesome possum! Nizam said it's better than the one served at Carls Jr! Oh wells, I'm not here to blab about food by the way.

I am just worried about the orientation next week! Truthfully, school is not exactly my goal at the moment. HAHAH. But yeah, I won't be a sourpuss and will try my best to deal with school now that I'm trying to apply for the VCF funding. I guess being bonded isn't exactly an issue now. It's the nerves/ worries of not being able to focus and do well for school. If the funding is approved, I don't need to worry so much about paying my mum that large amount of money back. The feeling of owing your parents financially just sucks big time even when they on the other hand, seem okay with it. I don't want to feel like I have debts all around my waist AKA hutang keliling pinggang ... Wahahaha when I am only 23!

Gosh, the Monday blues didn't hit me yesterday because I wasn't at work :p but I am definitely suffering from it now! Rawwwr!

I have to be confident that I can do this. I can do this right? :)

Mood: Hungry and freaking mckdhfdkl!

2010-06-29T17:02:00.000+08:00

The above was taken last Sunday when my plan was to actually shop for new pants. I don't even know why GSS existed when those pants I wanted are actually still expensive. :/
Bummer bummer bummer! Now that I'm feeling mdkvjfrklrdkfirmf because of whatever reason that I don't know of, I just feel like stuffing my face again with the above! :D

Unproductive weekend.

2010-05-31T13:16:00.001+08:00

I hate unproductive weekend! Roar! The only productive thing I did yesterday morning was accompanying my mum jogging and satisfying my pancake craving. Hahahahaha. The rest of my Sunday was gone by gossip girl and cougar town marathon-ing .. Haiz. :/

Rolly polly junior.

2010-05-24T13:09:00.001+08:00

Well hello there fellow bloggers! I still can't figure out how to place tagboard at tumblr so I decided to just stay with my blogspot. It's been awhile since I last blogged huh? Hmm, where do I start? ;)

I am not exactly feeling the blues today but I definitely am getting the long weekend vibe. Hahaha. Makes me want to cut some slack at work and just go on leave! :p

I miss going for holidays! :/ It's not that I don't want to but it seems to me that I feel the pinch more this year and of course I feel so bad enjoying myself when I know that Fiiq is trying hard to keep up his job. Waiting for SIM reply is sucking the 'life' out of me also. I really need to upgrade myself if I want a better job! Grrr.

Speaking of which I was on 4 days course with ITE doing Coaching skills last week. It was fantabulous! The class was like 1 close knit family. I enjoyed 'coaching' my trainee how to do paper roses and I recalled those days when I learn how to use the micrometer. Yess, I was someone else's trainee and I had to learn how to use the micrometer! I also learn how to check in guest ala Marina Mandarin style too! HAHAHAHAHAH. It was just role playing but I sux big time. HAHAHA.

On a much random note, that mudpie from Swensen's awesome yo! I was equally full from the fries and sourdough before dessert but I literally chugged half of the mudpie down and forgotten the fact that I was already full. HAHAHAHAHA. Perangai badak.com! Goodbye size 26 jeans, hello size 30! :p :p

Psstt .. I'm chubbier and weigh abt 50 kilos now ... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

Feeling tumblr.

2010-03-25T15:37:00.000+08:00

http://freakezoid.tumblr.com

You don't want to know.

2010-02-20T22:12:00.002+08:00

I am such a jealous freak. die.

but I still deem the comments unnecessary.

best friends or not there is still that boundary some where.

if it has always been that way before I'm in the picture, then it's time to revise it yeah?

i am totally not going to give a damn if u think I'm bad and I delete u from my friend's list. really.

i rather be seen as bad then, have all these stupid, warped, jealousy feelings inside me.

mr jealousy just shoo k. please. I beg you.

Updated: I guess deleting her off facebook wasn't unnecessary. Haiz. See how anger makes you make all these impulsive decisions .. urrgh!

If I were you.

2010-02-18T15:47:00.000+08:00

I am seriously not able to concentrate on my work today if I didn't blog about this. Knowing me, I would just cry on the spot when that incident happened. Hahaha but yeah, I'm working now so I have learn to control the tears. Thank god for having helpful colleagues here.

It was a mistake on my side by not weighing the mail correctly and putting the correct postage. What was I thinking anyway? but yeah, I apologised. They just had to pay $1.25 more to the postman which I knew they were reluctant to do it. Come on man, what the heck is $1.25 right? That also they made noise. Fine, I thanked the staff and apologised once again for the inconvenience caused.

Five minutes later I got a call again to let me know that the postman not only want the $1.25 but in order to mail it out again, he need the staff to provide a new envelope with the address. How hard can it get right? They are at the main branch by the way and should have empty envelopes in all the different sizes right? How hard can it get to just get one and write the address on it? From the tone of her voice I knew she was already pissed off that I didn't want to trouble her any further thus informed her to just reject the card.

OMG! How selfish can these humans be right? I swear that I'm having a bitchy moment now. Hahahaha. It doesn't sound so bad now because I shared with a colleague before typing this. He too, encountered one incident that clearly shows that they are totally inconsiderate and unhelpful. A million times drilling Arbinger training inside their brains won't change them if they themselves don't want to change. Astaghfirullah hal azim.

I need to bitch to fiiq but he's busy at work. Wahaha. If bloomer guy was still the temp AS, the vulgarities will surely come out from him one .. Heheh.

Back to work now babies! ;)

Hot stuffs. (",*)

2010-02-13T22:42:00.000+08:00

The weather has been unpleasantly hot and humid. *sighs*

On a lighter note, yesterday's unplanned meet up with them boys was great despite the embarassing broccoli incident. Hahaha. I've missed them so much and all of us finally got to meet Fir's new gf. :)

Not planning to blog more so I'm just gonna end my post with their picture.

Good night lovelies. A very prosperous Happy Chinese New Year to all my Chinese friends. ROAARR!

Succumbing to changes.

2010-01-26T15:35:00.000+08:00

I guess there are times when even your loved ones find it hard to understand you.

It's like they see you in the wrong but you feel that you're not at fault and you have reasons to why you act that way thus you try to explain and not apologise because you totally feel that you are not in the wrong. Some people can just shut their gap and apologise to avoid further damage but I don't. I know I'm egoistic that way but I can't just afford to keep quiet and take it as if I'm in the wrong if I have reasons to back up my actions. At the end of the day, we're just humans. To err is human huh? So cliched but true. *sighs*

My comfort song these days.

'Soul searching' experience.

2010-01-24T19:03:00.000+08:00

I am tuning to WALI band songs in full mode now. Thinking back, it should be more worth it if I was fluent with their songs wayy before the concert. It's not that I don't enjoy the concert last night but it would be more fun to know most of the songs like SO7.. Haha. I love the fact that we are able to do our maghrib prayers before the gig but you have to be conscious to avoid something like yesterday to occur again. LMAO. Let's leave it there shall we? Bottom line, makcik2 kepos should be banned from attending gigs, big time! hehe. :p

Which way to go.

2010-01-20T11:08:00.001+08:00

I am taking PM off from work today for no particular reason but to just laze around at home trying to finish Dear John, operate my alter ego on Sims 3, embark on tour with my band on my DS basically to just not do anything work related. Lazing around doing the above on weekdays feels so much different than doing it on the weekends cos you know that other people are slogging their butts off at work/school I guess. Haha. Trying to practise the work balance lifestyle here.

It feels so scary that taking a degree or advanced diploma does not seem like my main priority now. It's there but I'm not keen enough to do so as of now. I guess the fear of not being able to sacrifice on a lot of things just overwhelms me. I should probably work on my 2010 goals in mind map like how I did last year during one of the intern sessions to have a clear vision of what I want to achieve this year. That goal thingy works cos I was able to achieve most of it. I was also surprised that I was able to do so. Will post a picture of it here for you peeps to see.

It sure sucks to know that you're getting old but your future's still blurry. :/

Long distance.

2010-01-09T23:29:00.000+08:00

I was going to put a measuring tape picture but the above picture caught my attention when I googl-ed long distance. Totally not very long-distance ish but who cares. Haha. I'm just here to announce that I am so amazed by couples who can do long distance relationship like seriously.

I randomly, check on friends of friends profile and stumbled upon two. It's just amazing that they could still be together despite being far from each other. I guess distance is subjective but yeah, the amount of trust and all those nice things that they have to be able to hold the relationship together definitely needs a lot of sacrifices and I'm just loss for words thinking about it.. Hahah. A nice topic to end another boring Saturday night huh? :p

If I were a boy, I definitely dedicate this song to a girl. Hahaha .. I can't be the one dedicating this to Fiiq right? Hehs. This song suddenly brings me back to that Sunday when we all karaoke-ed like nobody business.. hehs. I miss that. We did karaoke when we went to KL but I was sick and my self-confidence went down the drain .. *guffaws*

I absolutely miss those carefree hanging out sessions with all of them. Chalet anyone? ;)

That thing you called reflection.

2010-01-06T17:14:00.000+08:00

Hahaha. At the end of the day, words still can break me. I definitely feel that no matter how close you are to that person, you still have to think before you say and never shoot unnecessarily. I need my HALO now. ;)

When ur not getting any younger.

2010-01-04T13:59:00.001+08:00

2010 just means that my friends are turning 23! (note the word friends because I just turned 22, 9 days ago). Whenever I grumble to my mum about my age she'll go 'yeah, you're getting older and ayah got married when he was 24). Those times I wish that I would tease her back and say, 'yeah and I will get married when I'm 24 too' .. Hahaha. :p

I have no particular resolutions per se but I would definitely want to save up more (hints: Europe trip) and make sure I don't balloon up fast. Yes, the last time I checked my weight, I'm 46 kilos now! Wahahaha ... and the bulging tummy doesn't help my low self-esteem! hehs. ;)

I would definitely want to be wiser and make sound decisions be it life, love, work or play.

My god, this post is boring. I'll blog again soon.

Stubbie me.

2009-12-04T15:33:00.000+08:00

At the moment I feel like there's something stuck inside my throat and I need to cry to let it out. Hahahaha. Yeah, I know I'm silly ... zzzzz. It sucks to feel this way ........ I know he meant well when he said that but the tone of the msg is just sad and yeah, it makes me want to tear up. On the other hand, I know I'm just being stubborn. 11th should be awesome or just plain sad.

I am not looking forward to it and I just want it to go away fast. :(

This is normal, not gaga.

2009-11-29T02:17:00.000+08:00

This year's Hari Raya Haji's different as the parents and my younger sister went to Malacca for a relative's wedding and the two of us are left at home. Sad-ed. Hehs.

On a brighter note, I've watched New Moon already! Wahahahaha. Midnight movie some more, hehs. Definitely a first and the last for me this year, not gonna count on it so much .. ;)

I still hate Bella's character and clearly, there were some 'exaggerated' parts and somehow The Cullens' house and The Swan's place looked different from the first, I still enjoyed the movie nonetheless. Heheh. I'm not going to be a party pooper and reveal so much juicy details here .. go watch!

Hahahaha. Eclipse out next year too and I still haven't started on Breaking Dawn yet ... Wahaha. :p

And i've always lived like this

Keeping a comfortable, distance

And up until now

I had sworn to myself that I'm content

With loneliness

Because none of it was ever worth the risk, but

You, are, the only exception

Paranormal Activity.

2009-11-16T10:29:00.001+08:00

Paranormal Activity did not give me nightmares last night but it did left imprints on my pysche. I keep on imagining someone pulling my blanket off me and standing by my bedside. Hehs. It was very slow during the first part but it gets more interesting as the movie progresses. I love how it is not cliched and the ending? Total BOOMZ okay ... It made us not want to leave our seats because we are scared that something might pop put from the screens .. Heheh. :p

Of dreams, whites and blacks.

2009-11-12T13:55:00.000+08:00

That dream last night felt so real that I couldn't help PMS-ing at home and on my way to work. Had to put 'You Belong To Me' on repeat mode to make me feel better. Yes, I am capable of keeping my thoughts to myself and being rational, thank you.

Nobody knows how I exactly felt till the day I opened up. They did not know that I always go to bed early so that night can end soon and I can stop thinking about it. Please tell me how I should feel when I am tied with a curfew and my sister's out late hanging with my friends and bf? My bf's not even obliged to send her home and he did. I guess they don't see where I was coming from. I'm not even sure why I am feeling all this but yeah, I am coming to terms with it. I guess I rather keep quiet and ignore all these junks because I don't see the point of making it such a biggie. In doing so, I neglected my feelings and let it burn inside me. That is also not fair to me right? :(

But yeah, things have changed for the better. I will forever remind myself to calm down and speak when my thoughts are not jumble up. I am not always like this. I never chained him down and let his life revolves around me only. I will never do that but yeah, there are times whereby I need him to understand and respect things that might sound ridiculous to me even. OMG, I didn't even plan of letting it all out here but I just did. The above shared was just a thing of the past. I had to bring it up because of that horrific-ly sick dream I had last night. Yess, I am cool now.

Pssstttt ... someone said he dreamt about me last night too .. Lols! :p

From Batavia to Paris Van Java.

2009-11-11T14:33:00.005+08:00

It's already the 11th of November 2009. Just 3 days ago, we got back safe and sound from our VERY impromptu getaway. Hahaha. I actually thesaurus-ed impromptu so I don't need to use the word 'impulse' here. Wahahaha. Think Fiq is getting sick of it. :p

Jakarta basically screams survival of the fittest though I am obviously not the fittest among the three. Totally not somewhere you want to go for a retreat because the traffic jam sucks to the core. Trip would be more pleasant if you have a local to guide you there. I am just glad that Fiq did not bailed out on Seha and myself because if he did, we would just kiss our airplane tickets away. My mum wouldn't have allowed us to go there, just the two of us either. She was really worried even when I got back home safely and thus reminded me that the next trip before I bought tickets, I have to inform her first the location and how many people going. If it's somewhere new like Jakarta and none of my friends have been there, she advises us to go with a tour group. If we don't want to go on our tour, we must make sure there's at least 5 of us going. Mother's knows best and as long as I'm not one yet, I would never understand what is going through her mind. Hehe.

Oh wells, trip was still a memorable one despite the mood swings and the bloopers. :)

The dance interpretation.

2009-10-19T23:22:00.000+08:00

This song came at the right time when everything didn't make sense at all. It's the song that I listened to when everything was a wreck back then and the song that I turn to now when everything is okay. The dance moves are just awesome man. Oh wells, 2009 has been a great year so far for me and I'll pray that it will last .. Amin.

"Jacob was a gift from the gods. Was? As in the past tense? But you still do. Is and will always be." (",*)

Much love.

2009-10-09T17:10:00.000+08:00

This was the first time we tried webcamming with each other. Hahahaha. So while I was busy doing work, Fiq asked his very adorable step sister to imitate him. My PrtSc sux thus the amount of photo .. Heheh. Daytona and 500 days of Summer after work was awesome. I want to start driving back! zzzzz

Not my cup of tea.

2009-10-07T14:20:00.000+08:00

Totally not recommending this to those who are reading. HAHAHAHA. Major BOO BOO lah! I am so used to watching 'going for your dreams' kinda movie and I feel that this movie lacks the feel of it mainly because there are a whole line up of main actors. Because of that, the 'disappointment' that each actors faced are portrayed in a very dry manner. zzzzzz. Totally lack the feel. The only entertaining part was the very impromptu performance at the cafeteria and the others just sucks. Missing the first 10 mins of Funny People should be a better bet than watching this I must say. Heheh.

On a brighter note, at least I had the chance to share this post and not let you bloggers go through the lack of 'feel' and major dryness of this movie. Heheh. ;)

Love in the wilderness.

2009-10-04T00:48:00.010+08:00

I am finally updating. Hahahahaha. :P

The boys chalet was a great experience. Personally, I feel that they did a great job despite being their first attempt. Of course there were a few glitches here and there but boys being boys can just make do with whatever limited resources they have and make things work. We were seriously living life the rugged way yo but I had fun! :D

COMING SOON with the girls were so much fun. I remembered laughing about the ghost with the gaping mouth at 1 part then suddenly shrieking at the next. Went through a total scream-worth therapy session I tell you .. Hehs.

There was no 'where's my blue card' incident because we didn't play Monopoly but those few rounds of MAFIA was awesome lah! We stayed up until 4 ish am and I didn't even sleep properly because the guys were sharing stories and they kept laughing. Did I mention we had a personal 'SEARCH' unplugged concert too? WAHAHAHAHAHAHA. It was awesome timing man! We were totally psychadelic and the songs played were really fitting. Haha. But we decided to sack Ali from being a wedding ceremony DJ when the gf called and he went off without notifying us. Hahahahaha. Nonetheless, we managed to listen to Laila Namamu Teratas, Kejora, Fantasia Bulan Madu and Gadisku. Those songs were personally dedicated to me. *guffaws* .. It was super awesome being the only girl there during the 'unplugged' session .. HAHAH. :P

Oh well, here's some photos from the chalet. Check out my Facebook album for the rest.

Sue, Myself and Zal before 'embarking' on our journey in search of Sue's very important item. Hehs.

Looking rather pleased and waiting for our bubble tea.

The men that we just both love and hate .. Hahahahaha.

'Family dinner' with them usuals are always fun! It was a change when the guys were the one busy preparing the food for us .. Hehs. A very nice change indeed. ;)

My COMING SOON clan.

My own Crazy duo.

Our must-have MAFIA session thanks to Ab, the mentor. Hehe .. ;)

A very enjoyable get together I must say. Love them all to bits ..

Blue surprise!

2009-09-11T17:58:00.001+08:00

I didn't really get a treehouse but I got a nice surprise outside my door last night. Hehe.

Haiz. It was a very nice once in a blue moon kind of surprise. really. (",*)

WML.

2009-08-31T17:35:00.001+08:00

Sometimes I wish you have your own stand and that, we share the same sentiments.
It hurts to know that we're not really on the same page on issues that I thought we should.
I'm not even sure why I'm acting all _________ on this.
*sighs*

The tale of the charmed ones.

2009-08-31T01:05:00.000+08:00

While others find it easy to get their prince charmings to sweep them off their feet some got it a little bit late. Either the prince lost their bets and couldn't get the best horses therefore have to make do with the obese ones or they just don't see the rush therefore take their own sweet time ... All I want to say is that, we should not stop hoping because we never know what Allah has in store for us. ; )

Syukran, alhamdullilah.

2009-08-08T15:09:00.000+08:00

Whatever I'm feeling now, the shittiest emotional turmoil is altogether a learning journey. I always have Him to turn to when everyone else around me just can't put their hands on whatever I'm going through. Despite everything else, I'm thankful that they care. Pardon me for the full blast of depressing posts these past few days, should be put on mood stabilisers the next time this happens .. Haha.

Highs and lows.

2009-08-05T02:04:00.000+08:00

I just hate everything that I'm feeling now, I want to cry in my sleep.
I can't even explain how much it's bothering me because it's just ridiculous.

utter silence.

2009-08-02T01:12:00.000+08:00

The difference between the last one and this was the fact that I am always told and explained what to do back then but, I am free to make choices now. I am just so used to being told what to do that at times I am just really pissed when I have to make decisions. Things have been going well so far and I really hope that it will be better for years to come because I want this to work. I really do.

Everything is just so scary when you think about it. I didn't know that all this matters of the heart thingy can get so complicated. I guess we're adults now and we just have to deal with it like adults. The worst part of all of this is the fact that I don't really know how to address issues. I have always learn to keep things to myself or share it with other people other than the one I have issues with and it's bad. Furthermore, I do have a rather 'indie' mindset compared to the 'mainstream' ones thus, when things are viewed as wrong by others I might just say it's the opposite. Pretty screwed up at that also. HAHAHAHA.

So you see, I am just so worried that I have to blog about it not for other's sympathy but to just make myself clear of the issues that I'm facing here. It's hard because, I always expect the other party to know what I'm thinking and feeling without having the need to tell them. It's just bull because it's like assuming and playing mind games. Yeah, it's just me. I'm starting to realise my weak points the moment that all decisions I make start to have impact on the other party and it's just shitty and demoralising. Besides, I just have this constant need for positive affirmation to feel good about myself thus, things can get more sticky. And I can be one egoistic beyotch if I want to be.

How am I going to expect nice things to happen if I myself am screwed up right? This is where you all come in and constantly reaffirm me that everything's going to be okay and this is all so new to me that's why I'm feeling this way. *sighs*
I don't know. I really don't.

My last week of July.

2009-07-31T23:45:00.000+08:00

Gone with the wind.

2009-07-28T13:18:00.001+08:00

I seriously wished that he could grow up.
I really do because it's hard on me also.
I cannot go to work thinking that I broke somebody else's heart and because of that, he couldn't do whatever he used to do at work.
Geez, this is so freaking hard man.
I cannot possibly take this is as an adult if the other party doesn't want to right?
My Tuesday blues not helping also.
I better make sure my food consumption today won't make me obese because I'm seriously stuffing my face and drowning the stress away.

:/

My helium filled day.

2009-07-13T12:21:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, I wish I could just swallow a dozen packs of 'pink pills' and pass out. Wahahha. PMS-ing is such a chore I tell you! :P

On a lighter note, going to Irsyad yesterday was good despite hating the crowds and what not. Haha. I will let the pictures do the talking ... Photos courtesy of Dara. :)

'Alumni' was the word of the day.. Wahahaha. Yesss, them boys were so hungry they just had to 'attack' the leftovers from the Alumni breakfast as soon as we reached.

We looked so uniform.

With our beloved ustazahs. <3

This is where their helium filled activity started.

Looking really GAY with the blue balloon.

Wahahha. I seriously dig Fan's yawning pose! ;)

I was so tickled by Fiq's helium filled voice, I had to close my ears. Wahaha.

Whipping cream anyone?! :P

Forever endorsing Pokka drinks. Hahaha. :P

Our very own RODEO MASTER. Hahahha. When he finally fell down from the bull, everyone clapped and left okay seriously. Haha. :D

The boys tried the Soccer, Sepak Takraw and the Golf game but I forgot to take pictures because I was so amused by them. Hahahaha. :P

All in all, it was really fun to finally meet up with them again. We went our separate ways after that while Fiq, Amin, Fir and I went to Cineleisure for an hour session of Guitar Hero. Despite my sucky pink pills mood it was enjoyable to watch Fiq and Fir battle. I seriously have EXTREMELY POOR hand eye coordination lah sey! Major BOO! And obviously, the boys were so much better than me! I only played once because most of the songs are pretty old school and it was soo tough not to be able to feel the beat. Wahahha. That, in addition to the extremely poor hand eye coordination and the fact that there was no other competitor on par with me ... I am full of excuses lah .... ROTFLMAO.

Alrightey then, back to work! ;)

Crash and burn tonight.

2009-06-29T00:34:00.000+08:00

People will never escape from making mistakes.
Big, small even the slightest form.
To each our own pasts.
It's easier said than done.
I am not perfect either, I know that.
Seriously, I have to grow up and not get upset about people's pasts.
It's freaking the past for God's sake!
Wahlau!
If there was another me, I will just go to her and ask her to go and die.
Tonight, I freaking seriously hate myself to bits.
HAHA.
Yess, I have issues.
jfdkvsvfmdfsnfuryffehj

From her heart's apocalypse.

2009-06-10T01:33:00.001+08:00

There has always been this 'competitive' feeling surrounding us maybe due to the fact that we were born 2 days apart and there seemed to be a whole lot of similarities that we shared and both of us were trying to find our own identities. Hehs. But despite all that she has always been one of my closest friends and I love her to bits!

The fact that she is already married is surreal and still hard to fathom. Hahaha. Ahh, I should just get a grip of myself or something right? Hehe. Nonetheless, I am sincerely happy that she's already married and moving on with her life. May the JamLo couple lead an everlasting blissful marriage life, amin insya'allah.

Gosh, I hate this uneasy feeling that I'm feeling right now. Bah! I better sleep now.

In Search Of Wonderland.

2009-06-01T00:23:00.001+08:00

Synopsis

Orang bawah, orang atas.
Kisah adik beradik sekeluarga dikupas.
Orang bawah, orang atas.
Terus terang dan tanpa batas.
Orang bawah, orang atas,
Pintu syurga dapat penyakit,
Rahsia lama sedia dibangkit.

In Search of Wonderland brings home closer to our hearts as it plays on the absurdity of familial ties and our attitudes towards those whom we love. Through its subtlety, it offers a reflection into family relationships and through its escape into wonderland, this absurd play will, hopefully, pull us closer to the reality of our homes and bring families closer together.

Bottom line, I feel that the issues brought up during the play were something a lot of us can relate to. We can't run from family problems, I seriously believe that because mine isn't perfect either. It's just these small things that can make you realise that you will definitely need to treasure your family no matter how sickening each and everyone's behaviour is because at the end of the day, they will still be there for you. Friends can come and go but I believe family will still stay close together no matter what happens.

It was an awesome play to end my May with. Company was great also. :)
It's always a first time for everything kan? Haha. Despite having trouble understanding the whole thing, I'm sure there were several stuffs in the show that managed to crack you up right? That 'Aauu' thing and that body movement crap that you love to imitate .. Lols! More drama performance in the near future k? <33

Psstt and yess shims, we are definitely not teenagers anymore. Boo!

Fit as a fiddle. :)

2009-04-30T01:08:00.000+08:00

ROTFLMAO. If only, laughing gas could make me full without eating, I swear my tummy was all filled up looking at Ali's webcam effects. Goodbye Blur Sotong Kelab Conversation, hello webcam!

Tonight's a hyped up night, Brooke and Ollie's bursting every living creatures' ear drums in the house! Woots! :P

Welcome back to the blogosphere, Nis. I am trying to gather my thoughts and start blogging back first and foremost, about Redang. No promises, hehs but I will try my best!

Oh yess ... Happy Birthday Duta! ;)

The blues.

2009-04-02T23:37:00.000+08:00

Life is short
Break the rules
Forgive quickly
Kiss passionately, love truly
Laugh constantly
And never stop smiling
No matter how strange life is
Life is not always the party we expected to be
but as long as we are here, we should smile and be grateful.

( Hell yeah, I'm breaking the rules and crashing into the unknown)

Psychedelic and hang over traits.

2009-03-15T02:19:00.000+08:00

Final score was 3-2. I told Hafizul I'm not gonna rub it in but I'm still going to blog about it. Haha. I just had to stretch my bedtime on weeknights for this informal competition which I didn't even start in the first place! Lols. Thanks ah Hafizul! But yah, it was all worth it and it's over now. Woots! I can now adjust my bedtime to it's original hour. Hahaha. We should seriously grow up and focus on more important things. Wahlau! :P

On a lighter note, Zal and I already made a trip down to Halijah Travel for our coming Redang getaway, insya'allah. It's a first for me travelling with a friend so, I'm pretty excited. Haha. We already put our deposit, will have to wait for the staff to get back with the booking confirmation.

We had lunch at Pastamania after that. Yess, I can still recalled the time when Nizam and Taufiq ate at Pastamania during the chalet gathering especially, the fact that Taufiq claimed that I stole the leftover pizzas while he was sleeping. *guffaws*

I'm not a big fan of pasta but decided to try the food there anyway. Lasagne was nice. I ate half and gave my other share to Zal while I tried to finish her Prawn Aglio to no avail too. What's new? :P

I just had to make my way to HMV after that. God! I seriously miss that place and my molecules totally vibrate at a higher frequency whenever I'm there. It was a brief stop but I bought 3 items. I couldn't imagine how many items I will end up purchasing if I were there longer. Hahahaha. Someone is trying to control his 'cd shopping' for the time being so until then he will have to discipline himself and avoid HMV. :D

Oh yess, I totally enjoy seeing the guys reaction when I asked them for their address to mail out Zud's wedding cards. *chuckles*
Of course, I told them it was mine and not Zud's. Ali's reply was the best so far! Lols. (",*)

OMG! It's 2:18 am. I should sleep.

Acceptance.

2009-03-08T21:47:00.000+08:00

What makes some people universally attractive?

Three components are fundamental to becoming a universally attractive gal or guy: Be happy, be busy and be present.

First, be happy. This doesn't mean that you are always smiley and giddy like an innocent schoolchild. It doesn't mean that you aren't concerned about environmental degradation or how you're possibly going to finish all that work your boss just assigned you. This doesn't mean being without ambition or being complacent.

Rather, this is, on the one hand, a deep self-contentment. You are satisfied with where you are in life, how far you've come, and where you are headed. You've come to terms with your mistakes in the past and appreciate your past triumphs. You are content with the progress and trajectory you see in your relationships, career and whatever other areas of your life you value.

On the other hand, you are living a life of passion. You enjoy how you spend most of your time, whether this is at work, at your hobbies or with family and friends. You feel intensely and you are in touch with your emotions, good and bad.

Love the life you lead

If you aren't content with yourself and aren't passionate about how you spend your time, this is the first thing you must set about changing. If you don't even like yourself and your own life, how can you expect an attractive person of the opposite gender to like you and want to become part of your life?

Attractive people have confidence in themselves that has nothing to do with their looks or jobs. They simply feel good about themselves and this makes them intensely desirable.

Second, be busy. Part of being passionate is having things to be passionate about. If you don't have any hobbies or special interests outside your job, then develop them now. Universally attractive people usually have a full schedule packed with activities and events they enjoy.

Busy people don't rush to return social phone calls, often end social phone conversations first and have to turn down many social invitations (nicely, of course) because they don't have the time to accept them all.

Busy people are often simply too busy to waste their time wondering whether someone of the opposite gender likes them. And that makes the opposite gender want them all the more.

Third, be present. No matter how busy you are, make time for social events. If you are buried in your work every day, then it's no wonder why you have a miserable social life and never make any new friends.

Get out there. Schedule at least one social activity a week. Go to single's parties. Gather your friends for an outing. Volunteer at a charitable organisation. Take up a new hobby that involves group activities. Meet new people, broaden your horizons, and practise your social skills.

Be happy. Be busy. Be present.

Extracted from Dr Date column, THE NEW PAPER ON SUNDAY, 8 March 2009.

Living the life, the life.

2009-03-03T23:48:00.000+08:00

February had been a hectic month but I'm so grateful that I managed to endure every single moment without that much hiccups. Alhamdulillah. =)

We were a tad disappointed that we could not make it for Mike's church wedding but the short break from the meeting at Holiday Inn Parkview to 'crash' Mike's wedding was one to be remembered. Both Sylvia and I joked that we both should try and hang out at Starbucks joints more often to see if it works for us too like how it did to Michael. *guffaws*

The first celebratory lunch for this year. I guess having someone to believe in you basically work wonders. Driving's done. I can decide on what to study next and in between that, just take things easy, go for short getaways and just live life to the fullest. ;))

I Don't Like To Get Dirty.

2009-02-17T15:27:00.000+08:00

You can all go ____ yourselves
You can all go burn in hell
But if there's anything you need at all I would help you out
I'll be the one who cheers
When the end is near
But if someone had to save the day I guess I'd volunteer

'Cause my life doesn't mean a thing to me
The only reason I haven't put myself in the ground already
Is I don't like to get dirty

You can all go _____ yourselves
You can all go ______ yourselves
You so-called tortured souls
But I'll cover your ears so you won't hear the screams and moans
If I could I'd just
Throw the earth into the sun
But I'd cover your eyes until my hand melted off

No, life doesn't mean a thing to me
The only reason I haven't put myself in the ground already
Is I don't like to get dirty

And I don't want a funeral
'Cause I don't like people looking at me
And I don't want to get married
'Cause I don't want someone touching me
I'm fine
I really want to die
Tonight I really want to die
But don't worry
No don't worry
I won't hurt me
I won't hurt me
'Cause I don't like to get dirty

You can all go ____ yourselves

That melancholic piece.

2009-02-15T23:05:00.001+08:00

Though ridiculous as it may seem, those tv shows and mangas that I love to watch and read are just alternatives to escape from reality especially to blank out whatever shitty emotional feeling that I'm going through. For once, I just wished that I could break down and get over it once and for all. It sucks to put a brave front and not shatter under pressure or something. Gosh, I don't know what was I thinking when I made that decision. I just thought it was right. Indeed it was, right?

Oh well, I'm just gonna calm myself down with Lifehouse's Whatever It Takes on repeat mode. Don't even think about it because I'm not in the mood to entertain questions.
I'll update when I have thousands of positive molecules to spare. Good bye for now.

Into The Sun.

2009-02-14T22:20:00.001+08:00

I was all pissed off and moody the whole day because V day just happened to fall on a weekend this year. Hahaha. Gosh, it seriously doesn't make sense but I just hate how it was making me sucky just now. I love roses and hearts don't get me wrong but I still do not understand why they have to commercialise and make this like an official celebration or something. Thank god, Jurong Point was not that bad though I spied roses and heart shaped balloons making their rounds in the shopping centre. LMAO.

It was a tie between The Holiday, My Blueberry Nights and P.S. I Love You, pretty backdated movies I must say and I ended up watching the last one just because the other 2 took eons to load and I happen to have P.S. I Love You on vcd. It was just great. My eyes were pretty much swollen at the end of it but I feel so much better now.

I'm just blogging to take my mind off things. Will leave you with a recent picture taken at work. We managed to surprise Peshali this year. I love surprising people but I hate getting surprises! Lols.

Enjoy the remaining weekend people! :)

Summer's ride.

2009-02-06T14:06:00.005+08:00

I got really excited about the navigator system that Summer just had to stop because I want to take a photo of it. Haha.

On a random note, yesterday's ride home was on my enjoyable ride list not in any particular order. So far, I only have 3 on my list. Hahah. The first one happened to be when I was still working in NTUC and Suhaimi sent me home. It was enjoyable because the songs he listen too happens to be what I like also so yeah, the drive home was like an impromptu sing along session .. It was just purr-fect!

The second one was when Nizam sent us girls home with the van. This was the day his dad passed away. He wanted to take a breather so we went to Jurong Point to have our dinner. He sent Aziemah and Wahidah first because they lived near Jurong Point so I was the only girl left. There was no nice music or anything but I guess the company matters.

I just love 'hitching' rides. HAHAH. ;P

Putting my feet in your shoes.

2009-02-04T17:48:00.000+08:00

That was my second attempt after the first one disappeared into thin air! I just love to do these things because it brings back memories. This one is a diluted version though. I practically wrote an essay yesterday. Haha.

You know how sometimes you can get a random song to stuck at the back of your head because you heard it from somewhere, at the moment I have, 'Speaker you are full of shit' playing repeatedly because I happened to pick up a youth' call and the message was playing. *guffaws*

Ahh yes, I'm starting to reinforce back the supposed rules to some of the youths and I have seen unhappy faces. Gosh, it's really hard to be the bad guy but on a lighter note, it's good training. Hahaha. My parents are police for God's sake! Why can't I be as firm as them? *rolleyes*

While we are still in the topic, I still have yet to receive a reply from the Hometeam chalet thingy though we are not booking the chalets from them. I was trying to be 'Irfan but I guess it didn't work. LMAO.

Despite looking like I slack a lot at work, taking over some of my colleagues task kinda has put a toll on me. Hahaha. I can't imagine I just said that but it's true! Oh wells, the past few days were kinda hectic but I'm done with it anyways. It's the matter of planning and prioritising. ;p

I foresee that third week of February gonna be a rollercoaster ride for me. I hope that I won't die out of exhaustion by the end of the week. Gonna start putting the plans for chalet to place also. Hahah.

Breaking Dawn, Love Hina and Sims Uni? My very own tragic love triangle ... *chuckles*

Going bananas.

2009-01-29T17:28:00.000+08:00

I am having that tomato topped cake while I'm typing this post. I don't even know why I bought it in the first place but, I'm pretty sure that I'll bring the leftover home like, what's new. ;P
Speaking of cakes, I am not DESSERTS (read: stressed) though my colleague told me that I looked half alive. Haha. Too much stress to be a slacker too I guess.

Let's not side tracked and go back to the moral of this post shall we? The reason I feel like blogging today is to share with all of you what happened this morning. I am a dreamless person, totally sad case I know but this morning's dream/nightmare actually made me wake up later than usual. I didn't even know what I was dreaming, yes you read it right I actually dreamt last night but somehow Edward Cullen appeared in my dreams. *gasp*

I totally can't remember how I got there but apparently he stole my lollipop put it in his mouth, the next moment it was gone and he showed me the empty stick. I didn't even have the chance to know what happened next because I woke up in shock mainly because, I was a tad bit late and maybe his facial expression just made me do so. What a waste man ... He looked meaner though. A bit more like Chuck Bass (that guy can really pass of as a vampire too) than the Edward we already know .. Hah!

Moral of the story, I'm gonna set the recurring alarm first and make sure I can continue the dream again tonight. Haha.

The rainbow highlights on your hair,

2009-01-27T23:48:00.000+08:00

It sucks having a lot of ideas to blog about something intelligent but ended up writing about the same old thing. Haha.

That's last year picture by the way. My aunt did not get to dress up for her wedding anniversary because my uncle had to work and I just want to make her more glam. Lols!

Basically the highlight of this long weekend was the fact that I gotten over my fear of eating 'sucking snails' (reads: siput sedut in Malay) .. Haha. It's really a surprise that I actually eat and have seconds and thirds whenever I'm over at my aunt's place.. Hehs.

Are we seriously going to look at those memorabilia and laugh when we turn 60? Haha. One thing I'm really sure is the fact that being close friends is totally out of the way. I finally know that and I won't fight reality. I'm happy with the way things are, seriously. Marissa Mc Beal Da Vinci Bynes? Just had to bring it up after watching Ms Bynes in action. I actually missed her. Haha. Sydney White rocks! Oh well, all those 'standing up for the weak and achieving their dreams in the end' movies works for me. A real sucker for that. Haha.

Over and out! =P

The unhealthy yearning. pfft.

2009-01-24T23:26:00.000+08:00

Thanks to 'The Reason', 'She Will Be Loved' and 'Everytime' playing at Food Culture, I'm in the mood to revisit those songs back in 2004. It's totally unhealthy but I just can't help myself. =P

Spending time with the gf was awesome as always. We chose 'Bride Wars' as our 1st movie for 2009. A typical chick flick but there were guys watching it .. Hoho! Made us assumed that they wanted to watch the movie because of Anne Hathaway, haha. I guess they were not disappointed because she was smoking hot during the 'bachelorette party' scene.. Lols! The movie got us tear-eyed at the end but overall, despite being rather predictable it was not a disappointment. I'm not good at reviewing stuffs so I will just leave it at that. You can always read my gf's blog for the review if she blogs about it that is. =)

This is so random but after receiving that sms from bestie, I couldn't help but to grin like a spoil kerang lah. Bikes suddenly remind me of Jacob and Bella's adventure. Haha. Not that either one of us gonna role play.. Hehs. Seriously, OCD's totally an understatement. =P

Gosh, this post should really end here. I'm gonna start the day early tomorrow. Ahh, looking forward to the upcoming gathering. Good night readers!

Marion St. Claire: Sometimes in life there really are bonds formed that can never be broken. Sometimes you really can find that one person who will stand by you no matter what; maybe you'll find it in a spouse and celebrate it with your dream wedding, but there is also the chance that the one person you can count on for a lifetime, the one person who knows you, sometimes better than you know yourself, is the same person who's been standing beside you all along.

Tagged but you're not IT.

2009-01-21T20:35:00.001+08:00

I totally feel like answering those tagged questions thus, this post. I'm not gonna tag 10 more people though.

10 weird things/habits/little known facts about me.

1) I have loads of security blanket.
2) I might be a frog before some unlucky dude kissed me and made me who I am. Haha. Blame those frog noises I love to make when my throat itch.
3) I burped loudly for a girl but I think I'm over that burping phase.
4) I used to have an imaginary friend back in Pinky school.
5) I will tend to remember all those weird/embarassing/funny things that friends ever shared with me. You don't wanna be near me when I'm 'drunk'. Hehs.
6)I don't need to be drunk to imagine what a hangover feels like.
7) I'm a HOARDER.
8) I'm in a love hate relationship with taugeh and onion. I'll eat them only when I'm super hungry and yeah, despite not liking onions ... I love fried onions!
9) I can sleep anywhere, everywhere, any time.
10) I actually cried because I was too cold when my other family members were enjoying the waterfall at Kota Tinggi.

=P

I hate this part right here.

2009-01-16T17:52:00.001+08:00

Not to be overly dramatic but, I seriously feel like I lost a part of me when I had to send my notebook to Acer for verification. Hahaha. Pretty pathetic and lame I know. I end up not to be able to hunt for vampires at Cryto or is it Crypto Club but luckily, I had New Moon for company. I was seriously miserable and would have grumbled all night long if there was nothing to get me distracted. The obvious example to a really unhealthy relationship, yes? =P

Ahhhh ... I'm just gonna start mourning back after finishing the few hundreds left of New Moon.

Amazon, please be a darling and mail us the items fast can?

xxxx,
Nis

Like a hard candy, with a surprise center.

2009-01-13T15:22:00.000+08:00

Looking at the 1 week gap of the previous post with this current one, I guess by now all of you can see my blogging patterns for 2009. Haha.

I'm not gonna rant and will just go straight to the point. I think I'm done with my January major highlights for the year. The new year has started with a bang for me having to attend a colleague's wedding dinner just 1 day after new year and I guess it will somehow end with my colleague's farewell dinner over at my friend's place this coming Saturday. As much as farewell's inevitable it will still take time to get used to it.

Let's just do pictorials first.

(Kim's Wedding Dinner @ Orchard Parade Hotel, 2nd January 2009):

The only Muslim colleagues who attended. There were supposed to be 7 of us so yeah, we ended up eating for 7 people. *guffaws* ......

Not a complete picture of YouthReach's 'orang kuat'. Lols! The one in grey is an ex-staff though.

Along with the other colleagues from PV.

Due to being overly self-conscious, I felt like a runaway bride on the way home. I looked overly dressed in that colour along with the high heels and huge bag. LMAO.

Last December was kinda hectic though because we were all geared up for the YouthReach Official Opening on the 10th of January. Thank god, it was fun stuffs mainly, to make the place look nicer so, it pretty much involved decorations only.

2 days before our opening, we were interviewed by Channel News Asia. It was a tiring day despite having to shoot for a minute and 49 seconds worth of video. Hahah. I'm not pretty sure whether I can extract it from CNA but if you bloggers want to take a look at it, it's here, http://www.channelnewsasia.com/video .. The video is under 'More children and teenagers seeking help for mental problems'

All of us were super relieved after the big day's over. It seriously feels like a joint wedding day kinda thing. Haha. On the other hand, I was especially proud of myself that I did not trip while handing out the scissors for the ribbon cutting ceremony to the GOH. LMAO. The part where we were called up on stage to have a picture with the GOH wasn't in the script so I'm pretty sure our photo sux because some of us were busy turning our heads, looking around with worried expressions on our faces looking for Timothy while the photo was snapped. So unfair to the max right? Hahaha.

My favourite room of all. I especially love those colourful paper cranes on the wall.

This was the place that I went OCD over. OCD as in the real OCD (not the current Obsessive Cullen Disorder .. Haha). I was basically throwing everything and putting the rest in drawers and cupboards and labelling them.

The HUGE bouquet of flowers for the GOH.

Tokens of appreciation.

The mobile heart ribbon and the gold scissors.

This was after the whole event.

The past 2 weeks were great. The coming dinner should be memorable also. One which consist of them colleagues putting huge portions of food on my plate and forcing me to finish them. Hahah. Till then! =)

It's just new.

2009-01-03T21:54:00.000+08:00

I think I suffered sudden mild depression after failing to get the other Stephanie Myers books yet again. This is the ultimate reason to why I hate trends .. Hehs. Oh well, I wasn't affected by the twilight saga but my 'other half' managed to influence me to relive back our 'glory' days and so I'm proudly announcing that the 'modern vampiress' and the 'fire charmer' is back .. HAHAH.

To nurse the pain, my sister and I explored the new Jurong Point and spent nearly 5 hours there .. Surprisingly, her 'cramps' disappeared and I had invisible blisters on my feet but I'm depression free! I suddenly got the splurge bug and the few hours at Jurong Point was suddenly recession free .. =P

We just had the itch to stay a bit longer and decided to end it at the arcade. *guffaws*
We were obviously not looking for any IN games so it's either the infamous bike or car racing. Pathetically, there were no bikes to be seen so we opt for the cars. It was a tad too easy for our competitors to clinch the top places with us playing because we totally sux .. LMAO. It wasn't our intention to compete with them also so yeah ... Haha. At the end of it, despite being a loser and sucking at 'gear changing' I came out a winner because, I somehow gained the momentum/drive to start my driving revision back. Hehs!

Seriously, it's a bit hard to start on something after suffering an ego bruising moment. Haha. Despite being too paranoid and self-conscious, I am not a quitter so I might as well just try again right? =)

Gosh, even non-eaters like me can be cranky when hungry .. The post ends here and I shall eat.

Time to say goodbye blue man.

2008-12-27T23:06:00.000+08:00

My BIG 21st was rather CRAMPY and CRANKY because of youknowwhat but I am greatly thankful by the wishes and prayers via tagboard, msn, facebook, multiply and sms. Thank you so much dearies! It's nice to be remembered. =)

The 2Cs just make me lost my mood to party hard .. Haha.

Anyways, the girls came down to meet me before I went Eatzi for the birthday feast. I would love to post the photos of the gifts but Shims want to do up a more adult version of the drawing so I'll keep the photos on hold first. Hehs. It was a nice surprise really, thank you soo much Shims and MJ! Really appreciate it. xxxx ....

Let's just do pictorials shall we .. =))

When SNAP is a Killer.

2008-12-25T21:34:00.000+08:00

It's officially 15 days since I last updated. The week has been awesomely fabulous despite the fact that I am still not dubbed a safe driver, you know what I mean but yeah, the days after that was spent 'recuperating' and I totally swear that I haven't shouted/shrieked and laughed sooo hard this year until today! It's my birthday week after all so it's best to put my disappointments away for awhile and just party like mad before I officially turned 21! Haha.

We watched 1 Hindi movie which I think Mardia ever blogged about it before about the journey of a Dyslexic kid. It was a nice change from our usual horror movies though there were times that we just had to laugh at the wrong places. Lols! Thank god for high metabolic rate because we basically junked on packets of potato chips what have you.. My sister was kind enough to cook our lunch and we had 'Mee Soup' during the middle of the movie.

After watching 3 hours of movie, we stopped to do our Zuhur prayers while the other girls prepared ingredients for our DIY fondue!

My mum has been Manja's loyal customer and she got this set for free. It was brand new and I just had to try it just now!

We had marshmallows, bananas, strawberries, Ritz crackers and green apples to go along with the chocolate sauce! Baking chocolate just happened to be out of stock at Jurong's NTUC and Shop&Save franchise, Phoon Huat was closed so we just had to use the chocolate sundae sauce instead!

Though we don't really need to heat the sauce up because it's already ready-made, we still wanted our roasted marshmallows so yeah, we had to go all the way just to lit up that tea light candle! Luckily, we had an ex-girl guide in tow and she was doing all the dirty job for us! HAHAH. She even wanted to try the stick and stone method if we failed to try others .. LMAO.

It so happened that I don't have extra tea light candles in hand but I just remembered that I got a door gift which consist of a nice candle holder with a pink tea light candle during Social Worker's Day this year at IMH and I just had to use it.

I told you it was PINK in colour and has a nice scent too!

We watched Step Up 2 then played the most awesomest card game ever ..... We were ROWDY and was screaming/shrieking/shouting during SNAP but I swear all of us felt great after that. Haha. Shims sounded soo MAN, Hail Mardia the very composed and polite SNAP Queen, MJ the one with the secret sliding hands technique and yours truly, officially SNAP Loser and one who volunteerily shout SNAP for MJ who managed to win the game occasionally in silence.

By far my most happening pre-birthday celebration though it wasn't the reason to why we had it in the first place. =P

My infinite playlist.

2008-12-10T22:46:00.000+08:00

If I were 1 of the youths and this was supposed to be a group Art therapy session, I think the intern would be proud of me because I managed to do 4 'art' work. Oh wait, I don't think the first one can be counted as one because I had to google for inspiration and it was merely a drawing copied from devianart but yeah, the other 3 pieces were based on what I was going through at that point of time. I seriously need a place to keep all these random art pieces especially when I'm on an arty-farty phase. Haha.

On a more serious note, I was surprised that LIFE actually gave an excellent review for Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist because if it was up to me, I barely couldn't pass it because it was a nightmare finishing the book. I'm not saying this because I am the most decent person in the world but it was really disturbing to frequently come across the F word at almost every single paragraph. I totally dig the whole music scene and Nick's a catch but yeah overall, the essence of the whole book is rather dry and doesn't leave an impact on me as a reader. I might be watching it to give it another chance and who knows I might write a special request to the authors to publish a non parental guidance version of the book especially for me if I like the movie .. Haha .. Rrright! =P

I basically typed out all that I wanted to say so, I better grab something to eat before I end the day. Toodles! =)

these RAW emotions.

2008-12-07T19:48:00.000+08:00

You haven't changed.
Stand in the light,
I need to see you,
uncover my eyes.

The tears coming down,
making lines on your face.
One for each year, now
that you've been away.

We were only kids,
we ran like water.
Your dad said,
stay away from my daughter.
The sun was coming down when I said,
can't you just believe?

And if you wait for me,
I'll be the light in the dark if you lose your way.
And if you wait for me,
I'll be your voice when you don't know what to say.
I'll be your shelter,
I'll be your fate.
I'll be forever,
wait for me.

I'll be the last train,
I'll be the last train home.

You were a storm,
it blew us away.
I wouldn't leave you,
but you couldn't stay.

We were only kids,
we ran like water.
Your dad said,
stay away from my daughter.
The sun was coming down when I said,
can't you just believe?

And if you wait for me,
I'll be the light in the dark if you lose your way.
And if you wait for me,
I'll be your voice when you don't know what to say.
I'll be your shelter,
I'll be your fate.
I'll be forever,
wait for me.

I'll be the last train,
I'll be the last train home.

We were only kids,
we ran like water.
I told your dad,
I love your daughter.
The sun was coming down when I said,
Hallie just believe.

And if you wait for me,
I'll be the light in the dark if you lose your way.
And if you wait for me,
I'll be your voice when you don't know what to say.
I'll be your shelter,
I'll be your fate.
I'll be forever,
wait for me.

I'll be the last train,
I'll be the last train,
Hold on to love,
and wait for me.

I'll be the last train,
I'll be the last train home.

I'll be the last train,
I'll be your last train home.

I have been listening to the above song on repeat mode since yesterday. I'm not too sure whether it's the lyrics or the fact that Ryan Star managed to sing the song with so much emotions but I'm greatly affected by it, in a good way. So much so that I wasted my time searching for the appropriate photos to go along with the lyrics and it's not even finished because I ran out of photos. It doesn't make sense but I am able to really feel the song. This song's gonna be one of the evergreen songs on my playlist along the likes of Iris and the rest. =)

I shall end here. I'm back on track with my reading thanks to my youngest sister who has been feeding me with great books. I better go and finish what I have left.
Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Adha to the fellow Muslims out there!

Thank God It's Awesome Friday.

2008-12-06T19:42:00.000+08:00

I ditched work and hangout with Zal yesterday. It was different for once to wake up early, finished the house chores, get ready and meet up for breakfast. We decided to be major cheapskates too. Haha. Though it wasn't really a food fiesta but I think if we didn't watch Quarantine, we basically spent time eating and talking.

Quarantine was fabulous! Everything was great especially the fireman who is hot but finally died .. BOO! except, the ending which was a bummer. It's been awhile since I last watched movies from that genre because I was basically catching up on chick flicks, movie musicals and what have you so, that's a change also. Every one must have their scary, funny, embarassing movie encounters but what Zal and I experienced yesterday was basically at the top of our list. I've a fair share of embarassing movie encounters ie, falling before reaching the seat because the movie theatre was dark, duhh and yeah .. that 1 time embarassment of going to a wrong cinema but yesterday was scarryyyyy ...

There were only 3 of us in the empty theatre. Zal, myself and this Chinese old man who I thought shouldn't be there watching that kinda movie because he might just suffer from a heart attack or something. While we were happily watching the first part of the movie, we saw a shadow CREEPING up the theatre steps. It was scary because the shadow didn't look like he knew where he was going and I practically FROZE when he stopped at our row and plopped right next to me! My seat is the first seat so there's no seat next to me and he actually sat at the steps! What's more scary is that I think he didn't sense our presence because he was busy scratching his legs/thighs! Zal and I practically joked about him getting infected by rabies because of those scratchings! HAHAHA. But yeah, I was praying to myself that he wouldn't reached out his hand and touch my leg or something because his being there scared the daylights out of me. I was busy plotting my escape and nearly asked Zal to move to the next seat.

He finally realised our presence when I crossed my legs or something because he slowly got up and walked to the seats at the right row. PHEW! Zal presumed that he sneaked in because he sure doesn't look like he understand the movie as he was busily scratching and, the fact that he was old. Older than the APEK who is the 3rd person in the cinema. One heck of a CRAZY movie experience and it became the butt of our jokes on the way to Raffles.

We had lunch at Popeyes (their mash potatoes' AWESOME) and had ice cream at Swensen's, Marina Square. Yeap, that place where I sat with Dara for 2 LONG hours while discussing about games for my sessions. LOL!

My Friday ended well and I would love to do it again in the future. =)

HOPE.

2008-12-03T19:06:00.001+08:00

My notebook had to encounter another mishap during the crisis at work just now. I'm officially naming it HOPE and will continue hoping that the engineers behind the desk at ACER won't diagnosed it to have any major problems tomorrow. Want to know what actually happened? 1 youth acted out and decided to shower HOPE with leftover RIBENA from my mug. Heart pain much? =P

You are the MUSIC in me.

2008-11-28T22:12:00.000+08:00

Shims! CK aka Mr AI with the Doraemon ringtone already married eh? Hahaha. I saw him at Jurong East mrt with a girl and a boy in hand .. I was buying some accessories at ARIES and saw him approaching a lady who was queueing at the cashier. =P

Cycling at East Coast was fun! I didn't plan to cycle because I thought I lost the skill somewhere and I didn't want to make a fool of myself in front of the youths. HAHA. Matz was having a HANGOVER because she didn't sleep the other night trying to finish up her assignments I guess and thus we were the BAG LADIES. R was tired and her mum didn't know how to cycle so she passed me the bike and told me not to waste the 45 minutes. She was persuading and encouraging me to do so and I just can't say no. The few attempts to balance was horrendous but I finally gain balance and was able to cycle decently I must say .. *guffaws*

I didn't join Gerald and the youths because they were far in front so I decided to cycle on my own. All the while when I was trying to cycle straight, I was saying to myself that driving's way easier and I am the one controlling the bike not the other way round. Haha. The thoughts were just amusing. Watching the people rollerblading was also fun. I would love to learn how to rollerblade someday.

In a nut shell, my Friday went well. I am totally impressed at how well JK was able to play the 1 leg donated piano in our studio, he was just amazing and I was happy to sit there listening to him practice. Would love to here Matz play too. I totally dig people who knows how to play musical instruments, ahh ... *wiggle eyebrows*

Shims, I'm happy that you love your job. If you can handle normal AI kiddos, I'm sure you'll be able to handle my youths and not KSBT if you feel like volunteering here .. LMAO.

Jason Wade's acoustic versions are the bomb! On a last note, I'm totally going to be deprived from my weekend naps but I'm pretty sure it's gonna be a rocking good one. Here's to hope. =))

grandiose thoughts, cast from Too Fast and Furious.

2008-11-26T22:49:00.000+08:00

I'm having slight autistic traits today. I've been listening to Superhuman on repeat mode since morning. I don't even know why I'm doing that but it's helping me ease the uneasiness that's just not clear and might not be there in the first place. From the way I explained what I'm going through to you bloggers, I just have to laugh and kinda get why that DI asked me whether I was from RI. HAHA.

I'm just gonna end here. Someone asked me why I didn't blog and offered to help me type my post .. Lols.

It's still blissful yo.

2008-11-23T21:05:00.001+08:00

Ibu was totally amused by my scarf. Oh well, it was really windy.. I didn't do it on purpose. =P

The decision to go West Coast Park was totally random. It started with me complaining to my dad that I haven't been going out on weekends thus, after he fetched Ibu from work and went to a wedding ceremony after that, we were told to get ready. I was practically shagged by then because as you all know, my weekends aren't quite normal these days. Normal in the sense that I am deprived from sleep as I had to straight away shower and get ready for driving lessons after my Subuh prayers. I am not complaining because I seriously enjoy oogling at the cute trainers/trainees whenever I am at BBDC .. *guffaws* ... Hahaha. That is so not important and I seriously don't do that, despite the 'hormones gone haywire' but yeah, I enjoy my driving lessons with/without cute DI. =)

I was pretty PMS when we reached WCP due to the fatigue and lack of sleep but the short stroll somehow made me feel better. Families all over the place, resting, fishing, barbecuing, kite flying .. It's a happy place and it's just a waste not to smile with all the positive vibes around you.. And it so happens that I'm a fan of long walks too .. That pretty sums up my weekend which is really not a weekend. =P

Oh yah, I was browsing through this year's Secondary 5 graduation photos and of course they dressed up much better than us. LMAO. Bad tudung day, pimple plantation what have you that besides the point but I like the idea of them having a class blog. I guess it's a rare chance to get all of them to update but it would be fun to have one. Friendster account's so yesterday. If you are up to it or against it kindly flood my tagboard okay. :)

How do you expect me to react when I read that? As much as I'm trying to let go of everything, I still care. I just wished you knew that.

Unlikely regret.

2008-11-22T19:24:00.001+08:00

Somehow, Rules of the Road by Joan Bauer made me realised that out of my coming 21 years living in the world, I only have one regret. It's not about the choices I made, the heartaches, failures, disappointments or whatsoever because it wasn't all bad as I still came across sunshine during those downfalls but, the fact that I didn't know more about alzheimer/dementia when my late grandma had it and, I feel bad. I missed my late grandma even more when I read that book. I just wished that I was more pro-active and would be the one taking the initiative to read more about it and to realise that the 'brain deterioration process' is not a normal disease for the elderly. It was really hard to see her suffer and things would be so much better if only we were more well-informed.
This hurts.

Whacking time.

2008-11-16T19:26:00.000+08:00

This is something old school that I just discover again while trying out different online games. Haha. Something to de-stress while preparing for the week to start again. Goodbye weekends, hello weekdays! =P

The left-over thoughts.

2008-11-13T17:19:00.001+08:00

The essence of Malay Cultural dance is in it, a piece of art. 6 years ago, I dreamt to be 1 who will preserved the Malay Culture, not too sure whether is it called a 'Budayawan' but gosh, I was already full of ideas back then. I still have a soft spot for everything cultural though. I just wished I was bold enough to pursue it as an interest. Haha.

Back then when I just started Pre-U and the Pinky girls were just getting to know me, 1 of them thought that I listen to 'Malay Cultural' music. LMAO. I guess, I looked like the type who does but oh well, sorry to disappoint you. Haha. It was really funny to know that actually and I swear, it was the funniest 1st impression line I ever heard that time. Now, it's just so common and I think I kinda expect that. Hehs.

On a different note, I kinda have a soft spot for possesive, hard-headed guys when they are comic characters. Lols! Not too sure whether I can stand them in reality but, Sakuya's the new Rei. *swoons*

Gotta find you.

2008-11-11T17:42:00.000+08:00

You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing
I need to find you
I gotta find you
You're the missing piece I need, the song inside of me
I need to find you
I gotta find you

(Everytime I listen to that song, I have a habit of changing the 'voice' to 'voices'. It makes the song more dramatic and fun you see...*laughs* .... Go figure)

The Day dreamer.

2008-11-10T17:03:00.001+08:00

I didn't know what stressed me just now but 1 youth came inside the staff room and asked me why I looked so fierce. *guffaws*
And he added that, it's not the first time because another youth ever commented the same thing too ... Ahh, these 19 year olds talking behind my back! LOLS.

At the moment, a youth is running to and fro to the sound of All You Need Is Love. Perfect running music or what? =P

I'm beginning to feel that turning 21's gonna be pretty interesting. It somehow felt like turning 17 but I guess things might get pretty more exciting for 21 .. HAHAH.

Anyhoos, Saturday was a roller coaster of emotions but I went through it in 1 piece, Alhamdulillah. Catching up with Aziemah was a whole lotta fun and I got bullied in the van after Nizam sent her and Wahidah home. Okaylah, not exactly bullied but Ali and Mamat started puffing in the van just after Azie left. Totally tortured by the smoke lah but I'm glad, we distracted Nizam if only for awhile. Dinner at Banquet Jurong Point was fabulous despite us looking like we went out on a group date. 3 girls and 3 boys remember? LMAO. Everything was totally unplanned but I'm glad we were there for Nizam. I know he's strong enough to go through all this, Insya'allah.

Movie date with Seha was awesome as well. We were practically walking around Orchard and catching up as, the bestie had to run some errands but I guess, I managed to update a lot while doing so .. Haha. HSM III was as usual rather tacky, cheesy, minty what have you but, it still feel good to be 17 back again. Hehs! Due to all the walking around and catching up, we did not have time for pictures. Ahh, and we might be suspected as 'les wannabes' by the teddy bear guy and his partner eh? Haha. Whatever, Major Loser. *grins*

The thing that happened with the DI that Saturday also came by as a surprise because he totally passed off as 1 serious and no nonsense guy. I was quite scared when he asked me what was my mistake when I did the right turn but he basically, just switched modes when we start to learn to do the slopes. The most funniest thing I feel that he said was this when, I was just being too 'blur block' and 'uncool'. *guffaws* ... He went like this okay ... 'Kenapa dengan u ni? U betul ke *takes the printed driving slip and reads my name* Siti Norhanisah? Bukan adik dia ke orang lain?' I was just MAJOR BLUR at that point of time and it was rather hilarious to hear him say that. That bad huh? He just started talking about everything under the sun after that. Thank god, I had no reason to pay attention to him 100% because I was concentrating on my driving. Everything happened so fast and that white slip of paper totally made me grin like a spoilt kerang .. Hahaha.

Play or wife, if I'm not reflective, I can say that, I have the mindset of a typical 21 year old guy. If I were a boy huh? Dream on.

Low point.

2008-11-07T22:15:00.000+08:00

I saw CI while waiting for my assigned instructor. Hehs! Was patiently looking around for the one when, he said hi and suddenly appear out of nowhere. Haha. I was startled. My god, he looked like he's fresh out of uni lah .. Lols!

The most embarassing thing that happened was, I couldn't pull up the hand brake. Totally had trouble during the first few sessions but I kinda got the hang of it after that and now, I'm back to square one again. He practically LOL when I couldn't do it and we managed to practise on it while waiting for the traffic to move off. He even said, 'Must practice picking up dumb bells and must eat more,' Nothing that I haven't heard before. Haha.

Traffic was pretty disgusting lah and we wasted a lot of time while waiting for it to clear. Pity the instructor because I was rather quiet just now. He was asking me questions and I practically single answered every one of it. He then asked, 'Why so quiet? You don't like to talk ah? Or, are you shy?' *guffaws* .. I just smiled and laughed off every single one of it.

Truth is, I was pretty embarassed tak kena tempat as always and, I was feeling pretty cautious and worried of the huge volume of traffic. It was seriously quite scary and to learn u-turning at that point of time? Totally a bad idea.

I had less practice and was asked to repeat it again tomorrow. The thing is, it is normal to repeat some of the modules during the course of driving and I know that too but when the instructor looked at my face and said, 'don't be disheartened ah', I felt bad and frustrated. Still am actually. It's like when you are going through a sad episode and you're trying to be strong but someone just had to console you and say, 'don't cry okay' and you just break down straight away because it is totally not what you have been wanting to hear.

Gosh, looking at the brighter side of things, at least he's nice, funny and cute in a geeky kinda way. Far better off than that uncle I was assigned to, the night I got food poisoning. Period.

There's still hope, a brand new day tomorrow.

The highs. =)

2008-11-06T17:45:00.001+08:00

Last Tuesday's session 7 driving lesson didn't caused me any food poisoning incident because I was kinda worried that it would happen again. *phew* ... More Session 7 driving lessons from now on which is a blessing because, I wouldn't have to use my decreasing amount of time offs. Did I tell you that CI (reads: Cute Instructor) practically summed up my Tuesday night despite the 'bursting' bladder. *guffaws*

Think we were 1 of the last cars to park and I had the chance to drive on the kerb before reaching the intended spot. LMAO. I hate myself when I'm a kanchiong spider! The instructor was pretty cool and I swear he was laughing at my kanchiong moments which happened like 4 times that night! As I was making my way out of BBDC, reliving those moments basically to keep myself distracted because of the bursting bladder, I spotted CI standing near the pavement looking sleepy but cute as always ........ HAHAHAHA. I'm so sorry if you peeps are rolling your eyes 360 degrees or feeling pukish right now but he's seriously cute to boot lah ... I'm still smiling like a spoilt kerang when I'm typing this! This is just a phase. I'm practically going to forget about him when I finish driving by the end of the year I hope. This is so like V, the guy who was with me and Kak Mona during APPRC conference. *chuckles*

Anyways, I love Nate despite his dramas and his issues. Just don't hooked up with little J please. Urrgh.

Psst ... Got my hands pretty full this weekend. Patiently waiting for the romantic date with bestie this Sunday .... LMAO. Feeling 17 back again! =)

Musical notes.

2008-11-05T22:56:00.000+08:00

Suffocating,

Overwhelmed by all these emotions

Barely there ..

If only ......

Life's a piece of musical.

The ups.

2008-11-02T12:38:00.001+08:00

When I printed out the white slip from the machine and saw the name, I somehow felt that it sounded familiar but gosh, I came across different instructors and I just can't seem to link the name with the face. That was the 2nd time yesterday that I couldn't find the car that I was assigned to and coincidentally both at Carpark C as well. I can be such a blur block sometime .. what's new. =P

It turned out that I was right and I got the cool female instructor for the second time! I love her to bits lah .. She would crack jokes from time to time, always chatty and easy on the encouragement. She obviously couldn't remember me but seriously, I totally enjoyed the driving lessons when she's the instructor .. Haha. While on the way back, she was talking about wedding functions and what have you and there was this 1 part that made me laughed .. Never did I know that 2 pair of eyes were watching me .... LMAO.

Apparently, my dad and sister were already at Esso waiting for me and dad, somehow told Nurul that I will be driving that way and he was right! He caught me smiling and laughing and he commented, that I looked confident so, that's something soothing to the ears .. Haha. I just wanna breeze through everything and get it all over and done with by this year ... Insya'allah.

Saturday wasn't too bad because I still went swimming with my cousin, younger sister and Jamilah. It's been eons since I last swam but thank god, I still know the basic swimming technique though. Haha. I desperately dragged my sis because she was bored herself and we went to Giant to buy her swimming gear before meeting my cousin.

Too bad it's all before and after swimming pictures huh. *guffaws* =P

Swimming every weekend anyone? (",*)

Spread your wings and fly butterfly.

2008-10-31T16:51:00.001+08:00

Sylvia thought I was getting burn out and I jokingly told her and Matilda that I will get burn out from having to 'layan' that KKS youth. I tried not to touch him but he enjoys being irritating and I just feel like pinching him can? *evil laughs*

Thank god it's Friday! I'm gonna leave for BBDC in 17 minutes. ~~and will hang out with Shims and Wahidah tomorrow. If any of you girls wanna join us, you know how to reach me.~~

I better go and pack up now. The above mentioned plan, the swimming and breakfast plans had to be scraped off as Shimah has a job orientation to attend to and Wahidah's going to get some camping stuffs at Johore. Bummer much? But, it feels so normal to go through all that these days.

** You're jz going to be that random 'butterfly in the stomach' feeling, nothing more nothing less.

Light On.

2008-10-29T22:04:00.000+08:00

I'm just thankful that there's nothing wrong with my little lappie. The few minutes of waiting at the servicing centre was a total horror! The staff just needed to unscrew a few screws and secure back my cd-rom drive and voila! It looked like it never fell down from my cupboard.
Psst, the new skin's a cover up for that minor scratch though. But, I'm gonna be more careful and save my lappie instead, of saving some so not important stuff like a magazine. =P

Oh yah, Happy 21st Birthday Nizam and Happy 24th Birthday Sarah! :)

Things that's been going on.

2008-10-28T13:01:00.000+08:00

Face painting at Vivo last Saturday was kinda happening despite the fact that the Tweety bird I drew on this little kiddo's hand looked like a cookie. Hahaha .. I envy both my colleagues who breezed through their shifts but, I think I didn't do too bad also. I managed to paint countless of butterflies, a few batmans and spiderman and 'dirtied' 2 smooth faces ... Lols!

Right now, I am totally envious that Shuhaidah and Fai are going overseas soon. I totally am bogged down with driving classes which I am not complaining but am worried because I may not have enough time offs to cover but overall, having to wake up early for the weekends is always something to look forward to, seriously ... not rolling eyes. =)

I miss hanging out with them friends. With our crazy schedules, it's just so hard to gather and catch up these days.

It's just so raw.

2008-10-22T23:04:00.002+08:00

I came back from the home visit feeling all warm and fuzzy, thankful and satisfied that I am here. 4 years ago, the dream didn't even make sense and was deemed unrealistic but deep inside I know that if there's hope, there is always room to try. I know I still have a lot to learn but I couldn't be more thankful that I am already on the right track, right from the beginning. It always feels great to be able to share the caregiver's worries and gives them reassurance. Stigma is just so cruel eh? I guess being able to oxymoron the term might not be too bad .. How does a 'diabetic brain' sounds? Rather normal and not as scary as having a mental/psychiatric illness I suppose. It is so common that it can hit anyone of us at any point of time and no, it's not contagious.

Despite having to face irritating kiddo yang sangat KKS (Kekurangan Kasih Sayang) wanting hugs and kisses from the staffs, the one that calls everyone dearie, honey and sweetie, told me that I'm hotter than Miley Cyrus (ROTFLMAO), thought that I was preggie just because I was happily munching on the Mo Far Kor, thinks that I need to be saved and basically just MERIMASKAN .. I still love what I do because at the end of the day, every single irritating behaviour is just a laugh away. It's true that, I'll be the happiest girl on earth when the kid's not at the centre and will be one sour puss when he is but, it's the small little things that basically just ruled out the PESTS. Ahahahaha ... I totally suck at describing the raw emotions but I think I manage to give all of you a rough idea. Lols!

I'll try harder next time. (",*)

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man.
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

If the past gets hard.

2008-10-22T16:25:00.000+08:00

When I got to know that the change of shift meant change of booth, I nearly regret the decision but after Googling for photos and seeing loads of superbly nice creations, I am quite excited and most importantly .. prepared for this Saturday. =)

We will see how it goes but I'm open for anything. =P

Double G.

2008-10-20T22:15:00.000+08:00

The episode from the Dark Night basically summed up my Monday. =))
It also proves that I heart GG, I adore Nate and of course I just love how everyone's trying their best to hold their relationship. For once, it's neither Serena nor Blair but Vanessa.

Oh yah, I Can Feel A Hot One's gonna be the next Forever Young. =P

Still off pills and irritating backaches.

2008-10-19T20:35:00.000+08:00

I was supposed to maintain a healthy and soupy diet for 5 days due to the food poisoning but due to my ever so famous 'Ahmad Nafsu-ness', I decided to have chicken chops for lunch instead. I just had to have the chips though the doctor clearly stated to stay away from fried food .. *rolleyes*. Bottomline, I did not finish the yummy Chicken Chops and I feel terrible right now. Bleargh.

My parents and I felt so cooped up at home that we had to go somewhere today. I totally didn't have anything in mind so my dad decided to go to IMM. We didn't take the car and the weather was bad but we didn't carry an umbrella with us. End up, we had to run in the rain and it was terrible. I love playing in the rain but both dad and I just recovered from fever so running in the rain just now was a totally bad idea. Hahaha. See? I'm complaining again.
Gosh, I'm such a whiny biatch when I'm not well eh? =P

I feel so bad not having to attend the WMHD event, Mr Ismail's/Teacher Sarinah's open house yesterday and of course having to turn down Zud's offer to see Erfani's niece today ...

I hate pills. I wanna feel well again. I wanna vibrate at a high frequency soon!

Dear Allah, please grant me enough strength to overcome all this .. Amin. =))

Off pills.

2008-10-18T23:11:00.000+08:00

The fact that I'm here proves that I'm well and feeling better than yesterday
I'm here to complain that I really hate to swallow pills
I don't even know how am I supposed to finish the whole tab of antibiotics
The backache hurts like mad
I can't even recalled what I ate to get food poisoned but all I know is that, I sound like a sour puss when I'm ill.
Lols!

For update purposes only .. Just trying to make this blog more lively. =P

I'm not a robot yet. =P

2008-10-12T21:34:00.001+08:00

The dependency on coffee every morning is merely psychological because, I was able to stay awake during the 3rd and 4th day by having Chocolate milk and Vitasoy just before session starts. I tried taking Coffee before the 2nd day pre-conference and manage to stay up but I refused to say that it was because of the Coffee. I'll be happier to say that the topic discussed during the 2nd day, which was about ADHD from young to adult might be the obvious reason to why I paid attention as after the speaker started discussing about something else, I started to doze off as well.

Everything took a toll on me on the last day, when I practically napped all the way through until the closing ceremony. Note that I used nap and not dozed off because I was seriously guilt-free, enjoying myself doing so in the lecture theatre. I was seriously that tired. All in all, I come out more knowledgeable, met a few nice people and most importantly, it was a rare experience to meet a whole lotta professionals at 1 place to look up to. Out of everything that I attended from the plenary sessions to the symposiums and parallel sessions ... The topic on Psychogeriatric and Military psychiatry appeals to me most. =)

Enough of the APPRC, let's now share my experience as a beginner driver! I am thankful that despite not having a fixed instructor, the current 2 instructors that I sat with during the practical sessions were nice. Both of them wore a more nicer uniform, different from the usual uniform of the instructors I see(this part is so irrelevant)so my guess is, they are the batch of newer instructors. I keep telling my parents that I will be so embarassed if I were to have a young, Malay instructor to teach me and I really hope that I won't have to deal with any but boy was I wrong!

Just this afternoon, I went to the car that was listed on the piece of white paper, patiently waiting for the instructor to come when this young, Chinese instructor appeared from behind me. He smiled and greeted me. It didn't help that he is cute too, *guffaws* but obviously any young instructors are enough to make me feel embarassed tak kena tempat! Hahaha.

I'm beginning to feel all high school can? Just last week, I swear I was crushing on the guy who sat next to me during APPRC when Kak Mona left. *chuckles*

The previous instructor had the chance to ask me what I'm doing and stuffs but this one just asked me how people address me because apparently, Siti Norhanisah is such a long name. Hahah. I swear he wanted to nap just like what Fai encountered last time because he adjusted the passenger seat and was literally slouching! Lols but, he didn't. Thank god! I basically had the chance to go round the circuit and practise the gradual and sharp bends. I was asked to practise braking smoothly and moving off too. I already start to feel the 'shiokness' of driving lah but I sure need a lot of practice! I totally didn't get the hand-over technique at 1st but it's actually quite fun! Haha. I was feeling all crampy having to control the clutch and practically sucked the 'disengaging clutch technique' slowly and resting on the floorboard thingy last Friday but Alhamdulillah, I managed to get the hang of it just now.

It pays to have loadsa patience in this field also! Imagine having to repeat the same instructions to slow learners like me! *chuckles*
It's really hard to shower praises too but Mr Cute instructor wasn't stingy with his. I did hear 'very good' once in awhile from him. =)

I can't believe that I'm having crushes on random guys and having the guts to blab it here .. Haha. I must have STRESS stamped on my facial expression because this random instructor who was holding a loud haler and might have been one of those in-charge of giving instructions to the motorist commented and said 'muka jangan stress' when I drove past him. LMAO. I'm not too sure whether the cute instructor understood what muka means but he laughed also .. *rolleyes*

Ahaha ... this random feelings will have to end here. I have to stop having 'soft spots' for certain well-liked traits.. *winks*

My 1st day of work in October starts tomorrow. Time to snap out of 'honeymoon' period. =P

Make me the 8th dwarf.

2008-10-06T21:19:00.000+08:00

Day 1 of nice finger food for tea breaks, a not so nice lunch, an endless overflow of knowledge and a sleepy me! Gosh, I felt like smacking my sleepy self each time I dozed off okay! The asam masin wasn't working and that refresher thingy did nothing too! I hope the glasses helped to hide my sleepy eyes. The walk to the loo is a pain okay! I just hope that I'll be making full use of the conference after this pre-conference thingy on the 8th till the 10th because I spy a whole lotta interesting talks to attend. The journey to IMH sucks big time and I have to leave my house real early too but somehow it feels nice to 'gain' knowledge again ..... =P

Psst .......... I'm still not over my post Lifehouse gig syndrome ....... Still croaking to their songs on repeat mode and met fellow fans who were really thoughtful and shared their experience attending Lifehouse's gig on their official website ... Sweeet!! =))

The pieces and everything.

2008-10-02T23:39:00.000+08:00

I tried to be perfect, but nothing was worth it
I don't believe it makes me real
I thought it'd be easy, but no one believes me
I meant all the things I said.

If you believe it's in my soul
I'd say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I'm trying to let you know
That I'm better off on my own.

This place is so empty
My thoughts are so tempting
I don't know how it got so bad
Sometimes it's so crazy
That nothing can save me,
But it's the only thing that I have.

If you believe it's in my soul
I'd say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I'm trying to let you know
That I'm better off on my own.

I tried to be perfect it just wasn't worth it
Nothing could ever be so wrong
It's hard to believe me
It never gets easy
I guess I knew that all along.

If you believe it's in my soul
I'd say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I'm trying to let you know
That I'm better off on my own.

** I thought things would be different but I guess you just choose to read between lines. I've always believed in you which somehow always manage to override all those things that happened but that particular day I just had to flare up because I didn't know why I'm still doing all that. It's like I'm fighting with my inner nemesis, the weaker one and I just hate the feeling. I chose to be selfish for once, putting myself first this time but I guess you don't understand the rationale behind it do you because all this while, the whole world has been spinning around you only. Things had to happen this way but I'm not complaining because I believe that there is always a blessing behind every disguise. I just wished that you're strong enough to believe in yourself . I don't mind being the bad guy for once but I never meant any harm. You just need to check your facts correctly next time.

The LIFE in me.

2008-10-02T23:17:00.001+08:00

No admission for Age below 18 years of age.

4 Oct 08 Sat 6:30pm - limited
GENRE: Music
BY: Addicted Entertainment
ARTISTS LIFEHOUSE
SEATING: Free Seating
TICKETS: $70.00
* price(s) excludes booking fee

VENUE: ST James Powerhouse

I actually climbed up 7th floor in heels when I realised that I left my MP3 at home just before we left for Alang's house. The reminder to listen to 987fm @ 5 pm yesterday was on standby mode and I actually missed the front part of the interview because I thought it will be exactly at 5. I was super HIGH when they sang Whatever It Takes, First Time and You and Me on air. It took me by surprise that they would be here in Singapore just for the interview and not for any concert so when Ross mentioned that they will be performing at ST James Powerhouse this Saturday .. I just had to sms Mardia to vent out my disappointment. *weeps*

That time it was Ryan Star when he performed at ZOUK. I was on cloud 9 when I got free tickets from the newpaper but I couldn't go because it was at ZOUK and now it's them! I was so disappointed that I just had to complain to my parents also! Not that they care but yeah, I've been waiting for them but when they are finally here I couldn't go see them. =(

The CUTEST photo of him so far. *guffaws*

I sound so psychotic but yeah, he's already married! I would love to get hitched with a rockstar but yeah, I have to be the most understanding wife in the world if I have to do that especially, having to deal with FANS who keeps gushing about my husband .... Hahaha. Duta lah, Jason Wade ah .... Now the whole blogosphere knows that this random blogger have a thing for rockstars! *chuckles* ... Not that it's uncommon right ... Hehs! By the way, Jason actually revealed that Broken managed to save his marriage somehow. He didn't say much but, it's so sweet right? Totally remind me of the Secondhand Serenade guy .. Haha.

I'll just have to make do with their songs playing on repeat mode. =[

New lease.

2008-09-29T17:58:00.000+08:00

I cannot believe that Ramadhan's gonna end soon but I hope everyone have done their best to fulfill the blessed month. A very Happy Syawal to all Muslims out there especially to all the ones who have been dilligently reading my blog for updates. Hehs!
Take care and I'll update my blog properly when I have the time. =)

XXX

Feeling grid girls... NOT. =P

2008-09-28T11:13:00.001+08:00

I will sound desperate but yeah, was totally grateful that Dara and Mardia were able to join me for the iftar after all. Lols! I was practically suffering from hormones imbalance and it wouldn't be a nice scene if I decided to go alone. Hahaha. I'm totally under the radar and no social butterfly so that really explains it. =)

It was fun having to tell some of the teachers what I'm currently doing right now. 'FUN' get it?! Okaylah, it wasn't THAT bad but Ustaz Azhari said, he wouldn't want to ask me why I'm there in the first place. *guffaws*
And he said, he hope I didn't make the youths anymore worst with me being there. Lols!

Putting that aside, Mardia totally dragged us to have a 'feel' of the F1 night race after that. She didn't have to try that hard because us being the kindest souls practically volunteered to accompany her. Even Dara, being tired from school and having to LUG that cute and heavy bag pack gladly followed. I'm neither a fan nor a groupie but it was really an exhilarating experience to have a feel of the atmosphere. Mardia described the feeling as being on cloud 9 and, it really was! =P
Getting 'down and dirty' in a nice jubah? Totally classy man! =D

Digicam totally can't capture the fast moving cars (the more reason to get a DSLR =P) so, here's a glimpse of the cars in video mode.

Bottle it Up.

2008-09-25T12:45:00.001+08:00

As I'm planning my next Play Well session for October which isn't very rushing as it will be due on the 3rd and the 4th week, I will officially declare that I'm super sick of organising games for them. =|

There will be times when I don't have time to properly plan games and end up flipping through the list of games for 'emergency situation', choose to watch movies with them or the worst is to resort to playing Hang Man. Gee, I feel so unprepared and I really hate the feeling so now, while still in the midst of realising how lazy I was, I am totally in the mood to plan. HAHAH. Speaking of which, I missed the time where I literally dragged Dara down to Swensen's because Breeks was closed during the Chinese New Year holidays and discuss about games. We actually sat there for nearly 2 hours while happily chomping down the fries and buffalo wings. Couldn't remember whether we had ice cream though. I was super kiasu and super desperate back then. Thank god, for the camp games expert! =D

I am now trying to do a music based activity because I love music and, it feels so much better and easier to apply what I love and just think of some things for the youths to do. I am being so idealistic that 'Don't forget your lyrics' came to mind. Hahaha .. It's not impossible and will surely keep that in mind.

Ahh .. I better run now and try to finish up parts of the planning. The 'not sleeping after subuh due to BBDC' has nearly taken a toll on me and caused me to sleep at unlikely places i.e Jurong East Sports Complex, when they were busy playing badminton and yesterday, I nearly dozed off during their karaoke session. *guffaws*

The iftar at Irsyad tomorrow will be the last gathering held at the old building. I wouldn't want to miss it because I missed this year's family day. Ahh, I will miss the old building and the memories that came with it. =(
Anyways, some random tagger was totally being biatchy last year regarding this eh .. Haha.

Ciao now!

Bean and Holiday.

2008-09-23T22:29:00.000+08:00

S is going to drive down to PD with her Uni friends next week. They have been dilligently slogging at work right after uni and don't have time to go for a holiday until next week! Poor souls .. Haha. That explains the HOLIDAY mood. I'm actually thankful that I still have friends who don't mind parting their time off from work or school to wind down .. Hehs! Speaking of which, Ibu actually MADE a joke out of the 'going for a holiday' question but she seems okay with it. She even asked when will I go for the holiday ... Haha. That's a good sign right? Bintan or KL or both ... Here I come! =P

I'm getting MORE boring okay ... It's either work or BBDC for me .. *yawns*

*hums to*

If I could turn back time
I never would have thought that I could lose you
Boy but now I know
I should have never let you go
If I could have one wish
I'll be the first to tell you
This is never what I wanted, no
I should've never let you go

Anyone still remember from which song did I extracted the lyrics from? Their first HIT single was Poison ..... I especially like Tiffani and I remembered bestie showing me their pictures when we were 'lepakking' at her other house in Teck Whye lightyears ago. There's 1 blonde in the group which reminds me of Syafiqah (don't ask me why) and I think she liked her though compared to the rest. They were formed from a REALITY tv show called the POPSTARS. It was year 2000 when I was 13 years old. Very KENTAL and soooo CLASSIC I know .... Who? Who? Who?

Oh well, if you guess BARDOT you are sooo right man! Hahahahahaha ... I am so BORING until I'm recollecting those really OLD SKOOL songs .......... *chuckles*

Let's just stop making you fellow readers BORED with my mighty BORING post which came as an inspiration due to my BOREDOM. =P